Sunday, March 23, 2014

Newest Craze - 'Motor Oil-Pulling'

If you are like me, you can't get through a day without researching the latest trendy craze sweeping social media or the internet. There has been much hullabaloo recently about a new way to detoxify - it's called 'oil-pulling', which is the act of swishing around any type of oil in your mouth for twenty minutes a day, and in the process you are bringing forth all of your mouth's toxins and spitting them out in one fell swoop. This can result in whiter teeth, fresher breath, stronger gums, a better night sleep, and lower overall tooth sensitivity.

I tried it for a few weeks and it worked pretty well. My sleep improved, my teeth got 2% whiter, and I didn't wake up with dick-breath every morning (ummmm....). But I wanted more. When I do an internet trend, I like to shoot for the stars and get out-of-this-world results. Balls to the wall. So I took this trend one step further and created my own journey - it's called 'Motor-Oil Pulling'. Boy, did I get more than I bargained for!

So here's what you do - go to your nearest Pep Boys and find a preferred motor oil. My go-to is Castrol GTX, since it collects soot and mouth sludge, uses only organic additives, and protects my body against viscosity and thermal breakdown. Obvi. Swish it around for 45 minutes (no less) and spit it out in a homeless person's face (if you don't live near homeless people, a lazy goth with black nail polish will do). You will notice things start to get better right away. Here's a few of the outcomes:

Blackened/Sooty Teeth
The first thing I started to notice was that my teeth instantly blackened. It appeared that motor-oil pulling does its stated job of collating sludge, but when you spit it out, the sooty glaze will linger. You might wanna get used to that, cause I don't think it's going away any time soon.

Mechanic Breath
After I spit out the oil, I noticed a numbing feeling in my mouth. I think it's cause I had MOTOR OIL in it! Whatever, agree to disagree. Feedback from family members and colleagues was that my breath smelled like the inside of an auto repair joint. It was so bad, I went to kiss my kids goodnight and their eyebrows singed the hell off! What's the big idea? I thought this was supposed to collect and remove toxins from my mouth? Why does it have to be so hard? Did my taste buds get sucked out too?

Creates Hangover/Increases Sleep
Normal oil-pulling techniques 'supposibly' (white person version of mis-pronouncing 'ask') cure hangovers, or at the very least limit them. Not so with motor-oil pulling. My head was pounding, I felt like I ate a cooler full of jelly beans that were soaked in Zima, and then had an anvil dropped on my dome. My urine was jet black, yet the consistency of sweet crude, which led me to the conclusion that if I professed a misplaced hatred of Jews and a willingness to behead Christians, then OPEC would consider doing business with me on a regular basis! My poop looked like fresh clumpy tar/newborn baby meconium. That's a normal side effect of oil-pulling, right? No? My hangover and GI issues continued for two weeks. And then I flat out almost died. Woke up each night, wandered down the hallway, stood in front of the bathroom mirror as I sized myself up, invoking the 'Larry David Staredown' in a hallucinatory state. Then I wet myself. I'd come-to no less than fourteen hours later and find myself in the garage/face down on the wet morning dew of my front lawn. But yes, a better night sleep was obtained.

Intense Skin Dryness
After motor-oil pulling for a month, my skin lost any moisture inside of it and started flaking off all over the place. Picture a pile of powdery eczema near the copy machine and multiply it by 10. The hair on my arms fell off, and I grew scales, black bags under my eyes and open sores all over my neck and genetalia. When people would shake hands with me, five layers of skin would fall off and stay in the palm of their hand, creating an awkward situation that 'deflecting with humor' couldn't resolve. My company tried to fire me, but I couldn't generate enough strength to hold a pen still enough to sign my severance package without leaking out blood and veins all over the document. I felt like a mix between Beetlejuice and Bill Murray's dead boss in 'Scrooged'.

Elongates your teeth/gums/jaw
Something happened when I started doing motor-oil pulling - my mouth region turned somewhat ape-ish. The teeth actually GREW a centimeter, my blackened gums started to pus over and grow up my teeth, and my bottom jaw began to protrude like I was cro-magnon man/steroid user. Combine that with my Armenian features and I was one step away from being in a Geico commercial/prehistoric exhibit in a museum. In fact, you could have hung me up mid-gait in the 'bipedal' wing of the museum and folks would think nothing of it, had I not been wearing a Brooks Brothers shirt and LL Bean moccasins.

Extreme hormonal imbalance
I flat out grew a vagina. Started menstruating oil (southern phonetic spelling 'erl'). Used mechanic rags in my boxer shorts to stem the flow. Got overemotional and developed an extreme false sense of urgency for everything. I lost the ability to compartmentalize the drama in my personal life and lashed out at others in the workplace. I refused to change the water bubbler when it was empty. I started snapping selfies of myself with a trout-pout. Started complaining to anyone who would listen about equal pay. Exclusively ate yogurt and salads, and held in my fahhhts for five days. Randomly called female associates 'girlie', 'sexy mama', and 'bestie'. I don't think coconut oil pulling yields the same side effects, but I could be wrong.

So that's the basics so far. Gonna continue this for another two weeks then may go back to coconut oil. Plus the jury is still out on this new fangled 'oil pulling'. According to the first dentist that showed up in Google, a man calling himself 'Dr. Isaac Yankem' (who moonlights as WWE superstar Kane) was quoted as saying, "The long term effects of oil-pulling have yet to be proven. Like any study, the results will be contradicted 15 years later by another study, so have at it. But using motor oil is ill-advised. You'd have to be mentally deranged to do such a silly thing." Well there you have it. My 'holistic' approach doesn't JIVE with the experts. Shows what they know. Until next time....

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Next Penn State In The Making? New Hampshire Colleges Caught With Their Pants Down

It recently came to light in the New Hampshire local news that a close friend of mine was the victim of several sexually explicit overtures during his time at New England College by a trusted member of the community, the former head men's basketball coach (look it up). Arguably worse, when my friend and his teammates (also victims of this individual's sexual abuse) told NEC school officials, they did nothing....sound familiar? As this story unfolds, we could be potentially looking at a large-scale cover-up of sexual abuse on multiple college campuses in one concentrated area. These institutions and their "guidelines to protect the students" they are "sworn to protect" are ironically the SAME "guidelines" that these child sexual predators are using for their own protection. What might soon be uncovered in NH, is a raw look into "how" these predators swarm our college campuses like a plague of locusts only seen or heard of in Biblical times. Make no mistake about it parents, friends and neighbors - this is a problem of epic that affects us all NOW and for the foreseeable future...

In 2014, after the national spectacle of Penn St./Jerry Sandusky, the atrocities that were performed, not only by Sandusky, but everyone that covered it up, are apparently being repeated on an albeit smaller scale. How can this happen again? Didn't we as a society set a scary enough precedent/example by punishing Penn St. and Jerry Sandusky? Didn't we send a message to the perverts that were still on campuses or thinking about making school campuses their "safe havens"? Apparently not! Not as a legal system, or as citizens!!! I thought the children were our future according to Whitney Houston? How can we have the moral authority on anything when we don't even act to protect our own? Now in NH, as in the Penn St. case, this is about to turn into an out of control freight train...we find out that numerous people and organizations that have the power and authority to take action, did quite the appears this individual's work roles on campus via a school website page were deleted while an ongoing investigation is still going on (no indication who performed this 'scrubbing'), and not nearly enough resources were allocated to investigate even though the campus knew the severity of the problem. These kinds of allegations are always a nightmare for an institution, especially in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky scandal here in Pennsylvania. But the collective 'deer in headlights' response by these blowhards to any accusation is comical yet predictable. Nobody wants this stuff to happen, and nobody intends to cover it up. But what inevitably happens every single time is just the opposite of the intended response - the issues get covered up and eventually the poop starts leaking out the top like a clogged toilet. And instead of pie on their face, it's fecal matter. THAT is what the University System of New Hampshire is now dealing with. Let's quickly go back in time and recap the allegations. 

New England College

Before I go any further, this is all part of the public record and corroborated by other parties as determined by the academic institution, culminating in the termination of said employee, so I'm not trying to be a 'super-sleuth' and destroy someone's reputation for no reason. Read the Keene Sentinel newspaper for a great summary of this (what follows below is the detailed CONTENT of what led to this individual's termination). Ok, so a former head coach of New England College's mens basketball team garnered a creepy reputation by constantly asking his players sexual questions about their genitals and what kind of sexual acts they like to perform. He would gain his players' trust and then ask the normal basketball questions like (WARNING: GRAPHIC):
  • "How big is your penis?" 
  • "How, and how much do you masturbate?"
  • "Rate the players penis sizes on the team from biggest to smallest."
  • "How long do you last when you masturbate?"
  • "Would you like me to tell you ways you can last longer?"
  • On a few occasions would also be masturbating on the phone while asking a common player/coach question like, "Would you like to stay over my house? I only have bunk-beds but that's ok, kiddo, you can have the bottom."
This went on from 2000-2002 during the coach's tenure there. It caused anger, emotional anguish, bouts of depression (traumatic events such as rape and sexual assault have, aside from obvious physical traumas, profound long-term psychological effects on all victims including but not limited to children who are assault victims. These include: denial, helplessness, dislike of sex, anger, self-blame, anxiety, shame, nightmares, fear, depression, flashbacks, guilt, rationalization, mood-swings, numbness, promiscuity, loneliness, social anxiety, difficulty trusting oneself or others, difficulty concentrating. Family and friends experience emotional scarring including a strong desire for revenge, a desire to "fix' the problem and/or move on, and a rationalization that "it wasn't that bad"). But no worries - the coach was "allowed to just leave the college" and because he was never reported, eventually joined Keene State College in July 2005. Emails of his misconduct were sent to NEC school officials beginning in 2002...and again in 2005. This was reported in the Keene Sentinel recently, so again, I'm not casting baseless aspersions here. Nothing was done at the time (typical), and one official at NEC asked the anonymous victim to forward the email to Keene State College directly. End transmission out of NEC.

Keene State College

This individual resurfaced as the Director of Basketball Operations, program coordinator at the Youth Student Center, and ran the Nite Owl Cafe at the student center. He was also the 'voice' of Keene State's athletic broadcasts, culminating in a tenure as Director of Basketball Operations for the school in 2010. Unfortunately, they were employing a sexual deviant all along and no action was taken to rid the community of him. The claims from NEC victims started in 2005, to the then athletic director, and then began pouring in May of 2011 by multiple past NEC players. What did the senior leadership including athletic directors and mens basketball coaching staff of Keene State College do about these serious allegations? NOTHING! Sound familiar? How could a guy so involved in the school community be a perv? This just can't be! As a devout Catholic, I'm overly sensitive to pedophiles and others of their ilk being allowed to simply 'move jobs' and sweep stuff under the carpet. Nobody has any patience for it, and it seems like we as a society always instantaneously blame the whistleblowers whenever our rosy view of reality is tampered with. This looming 'scandal' is no different.

University of New Hampshire

Last week, news broke of a UNH athletics employee who was terminated and subsequently arrested for locker room voyeurism, which was alleged to have included secretly photographing players changing after a game. Yet another member of the community who volunteers his time with lots of athletic and community programs. How could he ever do such a thing? Anyway, when confronted by police via a search warrant, he hastily tried to hide/destroy evidence on his cell phone and generally engaged in resisting arrest. Preeeeeetttty sure that constitutes tampering or falsifying evidence, brosef. But I'm sure you weren't hiding anything related to your spelunking. No confirmation of whether or not he asked the police officers if they needed to take a quick shower or not before their search. 

So now we have three New Hampshire schools embroiled in less-than-savory happenings, and the question begs to be asked - are these events linked? What is being done to keep creepers like this off of university campuses? Is there a 'coaching tree' that arranges for these sleazeballs to land work at basketball institutions across New Hampshire? Rumors at Penn State is that Sandusky was part of a larger child prostitution/rape ring with wealthy community members - is this a Division III version of that in NH? How did the NEC coach become a coach so quickly and rise to a prominent rank in the athletic community despite a three year stint at Bank of America in the years preceding his head coaching gig? Why weren't emails responded to at NEC when complaints were filed? Why weren't they responded to at KSC? How did UNH let this video camera creeper into their inner circle? Is there someone connected to these two perverts? Have investigators looked in to WHO brought these men to campus? Is mens basketball such a sacred cow at these schools that sexual deviants must have their acts swept under the carpet? WHO HIRES THESE PEOPLE?!?!?

Luckily, things are moving. To her credit, New Hampshire Governor Margaret Hassan has reached out to Todd Leach, chancellor of the University System of New Hampshire (USNH) to make any findings from these investigations available to the general public. Contrast this response to the response of current Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett (then State Attorney General) - an insistence on more victims before fast-tracking the case and applying the full-court press on the investigation. Feet Dragging 101. He was also interested in running for governor at the time, so naturally didn't give this the time of day. Finally, it was Penn State and Joe Paterno's football program. We can't let anything disturb that. Hassan at least appears to get it (conveniently in an election year). Here's a recent letter that she sent out - so kudos to her acting as quickly as she could:

But it needs to go beyond that. Listening to school personnel spew platitudes about how they have a specific process and protocol for these types of cases and then constantly breaking that protocol and panicking when trouble lurks does not instill faith in the student community. Ignoring emails, hoping they'll go away, and allowing staff to move on to different gigs is no different than what's going on in the Vatican and various archdioceses (sp?) across the globe. Let's hope this spate of scandals is the last for quite some time. More to follow as things heat up!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Cold War II: Ukraine and the Proxy War with Russia (Or "What The Lamestream Media Isn't Reporting")

The news has been ablaze with Ukraine coverage over the past two weeks, and my fellow slovenly Americans have had to actually put down their iPhones for two minutes and look up Ukraine on a map. Just kidding, they have the MapApp so they luckily don't need to surgically detach the device. Phew.

We are witnessing the latest chapter in the long fall that is the petrodollar's imminent demise. If you think the US is a conscientious objector, you are dead wrong, and you should probably consider getting your news from somewhere OUTSIDE of the mainstream media (and that includes Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, NPR, NYT, WashPost, WSJ and countless other news media - PS - if you are calculating in your head, 82% of those networks/publications just listed are liberal leaning, so in my book the news media is still biased). They operate in five second sound bytes - alternative media doesn't. So let me break it down for you.

What's Happening Now?

First and foremost, I'm not supporting anything the West (US/Europe) does with Ukraine, nor am I actually supporting anything Russia is doing with Ukraine. But you need to hear something other than "Putin is being a mean bully and Obama is a pussy." Cause that's what the US media is pushing. You see, the US wants Ukraine to fall into anarchy, only to have the IMF and NATO pick up the pieces, bail them out, and suck them into the vacuum that is the European Union. Doing so keeps Russia isolated, unable to expand it's natural gas empire as fast as they would have liked. The 21st century has quickly evolved away from military-driven warfare to covert, bankrolled proxy wars where local dissidents are paid off to cause trouble (see Egypt, Tunisia, Libya, Syria to name a few, and now Ukraine). Did you know that the US has spent $5 billion over the past twenty years pushing for Ukraine to detach itself from Russia and conduct itself like a wannabe EU-eligible country? Don't believe me? Jerk off to this, Kool-Aid-drinking faux patriot:

Assistant Secretary of State for Europe and Eurasian Affairs Victoria Nuland let it slip that we have been pushing for a new Ukrainian government for four years, ever since pro-Russia leaning Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych (democratically elected) took power. He's always maintained close ties to Moscow, so by default he is a thorn in the side to the West. Like any other country, Ukraine eventually fell on hard times and needed a bailout. The past two parties in power in the Ukraine were wildly corrupt and have somehow lost billions of dollars and run the country into the ground (sounds like the US). The citizens wanted the EU to bail them out, which would be a condition-laden package pulled together by the IMF that would basically culiminate in abandoning their sovereignty and local currency (the hryvnia) by folding themselves in with the European Union (an insolvent leviathan that has spawned the PIIGS nations of Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece, and Spain, among 10+ others, fraught with high unemployment, negative growth, civil unrest, technical default, and downward-spiraling standards of living). President Yanukovych basically saw this and said "yeahhh.....we're gonna go ahead and just ask for a no strings attached $15 billion loan from Russia." This did not sit well with the country, and here we are. Unfortunately, peaceful protesters were killed and injured. That part sucks, I wish it never happened. However, it is on record that billionaire globalist rabble-rouser George Soros has thrown millions of dollars to central European activist NGO's to destabilize governments that his ilk don't like.

The darker the berry, the sweeter the.....Eastern GDP. 

Combined with the more subtle US/Western involvement in destabilizing the region, it now becomes clear that Ukraine is basically Egypt all over again. Cause that worked out well (fund protests and civil unrest, put Muslim Brotherhood in power, only to watch it get kicked out after a year despite Obama's unending support). Same shit in Libya (overthrow Gaddafi, replace with Al Qaeda, funnel weaponry through Benghazi 'consulate'/safehouse in order to arm the rebels in Syria). And then we had Syria - where a false flag chemical weapons attack by rebels was intentionally blamed on President Assad as a means to launch a war. We got to the one yard line before.....Vladimir Putin saved the day and negotiated the surrender of Syrian CW's, averting war in the process. Reiterating how much Obama is a giggle-inducing lightweight on the global stage. Remember, our Nobel Peace Prize-winning President was gung-fucking-ho about attacking Syria. Then UK buckled, then Saudi Arabia buckled. Why? Russia, that's why. Not because they necessarily fear their rusty and atrophied military, but because Russia has all of the natural gas in the world at its disposal, and Ukraine and Syria are huge, strategic pipeline conduits. Gazprom is the largest energy agency in the world. See the below graphic, courtesy of

Russia officially needs to be handled with kid gloves, kind like that quirky-but-wealthy benefactor that you need to constantly pacify to keep the gravy training rolling. If Putin shuts off the energy switch, eastern Europe freezes to death. Can't let that happen, can we? So what results is a huge battle for the future of Ukraine. The European Union/the West want Ukraine in its corner to stop Russia dead in its expansionist tracks. Putin desperately wants Ukraine so he can keep the energy revenues coming in (estimates show that the loss of Ukraine pipelines would reduce overall Russian GDP by 25%!!! That's worth fighting to protect!!!)

What's Happening Next?

Contrary to some reports, this will NOT morph into World War III. We are bound to protect Ukraine's democratic sovereignty as a result of the 1994 Budapest Memorandum, and can do so militarily.

I doubt this will happen, since Ukraine is not worth setting off nukes over. Plus, as mentioned earlier, Obama is a pussy. He'd rather attack his own citizens than another country's. Especially if they're conservative or libertarian. As we found out this weekend, Russian troops have overrun Crimea, the pro-Russia southern peninsula of Ukraine, AT THE REQUEST OF ITS PRIME MINISTER. Now to be fair, Sergey Aksyonov had just been installed, but this was not some out of the blue event. Crimea predominantly identifies as pro-Russian, as does most of the eastern half of Ukraine. The Chernobylized, negative growth, insolvent, bail-out needing unproductive half of Ukraine is - you guessed it - the protesting, pro-EU western side!!!! So basically, Russia is sending troops to maintain stability in one of its supportive areas. Kinda like if Greenland invades Canada. We would protect Canada, because they are our friends. But this brands Putin as a 'really mean bully jerk' by the Western media, while bumbling Obama and Biden struggle to look tough (their only foreign policy success was ordering Seal Team 6 to pump bullets into Bin Laden, but then this turned into a security failure, as 20+ Seal Team 6 members were systematically taken out over the next 24 months like they were living a fucking Nelson DeMille novel - subject of another post once a few more die under mysterious circumstances). Here's the divide linguistically, and why it makes perfect sense that Putin would be protecting the pro-Russia half of Ukraine:

Watch the Russian troop response expand across the eastern half of the country for stability purposes, but then stop without stirring the pot further. This is merely a show of Russian strength, and the ultimate solution will be to unfortunately split the country in half - the West goes to the Europian Union, and the East goes to Russia. Case closed. No need to fight a war over it. Also, knowing our propensity for false flags and instigations, expect our friend Prince Bandar Bin-Sultan (head of Saudi Intelligence) to rear his ugly head and 'activate' various terrorists groups in the region to destabilize Russia and make them look ripe for the pickens, and 'unable' to accommodate a Ukraine secession - at the very least, Crimea will fall to Russia and so will control of the ports along the Black Sea. Putin is being portrayed as the bully, but in the end he will be the victim. Again, not taking sides here, I just think it's important to establish context outside of the narrative that our 'homer' mainstream media likes to pump out.

Big picture - as I've said before - the petrodollar scheme is winding down. Forty years ago, Nixon's Secretary of State Henry Kissinger (high level globalist/Illuminati scum) arranged for the US dollar to be the main means of settlement for all oil transactions. It led to our growth as the #1 world economic power, and it will ultimately be our undoing when Russia expands their energy footprint and revenue-generating pipelines, entering into energy settlements in currencies outside of the US dollar with countries like China, India, and other parts of Europe. Saddam tried an alternative means of settlement, and he lost. Gaddafi tried an alternative means of settlement, and he lost. Chavez tried to circumvent the dollar/US and died of cancer (you know the kind that doesn't respond to any chemo treatments, then infects the lungs, then gives you heart attacks when you are otherwise healthy - 'CIA Cancer'). Iran wants to work around the dollar, and has had its nuclear program cut out from underneath them. Assad wanted to help Russia expand its energy pipelines in Syria - and was promptly accused of using chemical weapons on his own citizens, bringing us to within five minutes of World War III. The below picture tells you everything you need to know about false flags and international actors. This is John and Theresa Heinz Kerry dining with eeeeevil Bashar Al-Assad and his wife in 2009:

Are you getting the picture folks? The American people and global community will fall for anything and everything as long as the storyline is drummed home (WMD's in Iraq, war on terror, protests over youtube videos, 'if you like it you can keep it', 'there is no real estate bubble', 'we have no domestic drone program', 'Bear Stearns and Lehman Bros are solvent', etc). We need to isolate Russia and do whatever necessary to keep them at bay. That keeps our fraudulent economy alive and our toilet paper currency the fiat monetary note of record. Obama is no different than Bush and Clinton. They have different means to an end but still the same outcome - destabilization and strife in other countries to make us look like the cleanest dirty shirt in the hamper. It's worked so far, and it's working in Ukraine. PS - how's that Russian Reset Button working out for you, Barack Obama? Consider yourself informed. Until next time.......