Thursday, February 28, 2013

Weekly Fear-Mongoring: Death of an Empire Part I

As this blog post goes to press (WTF? 'goes to press'? you click on a a 'publish' button, get over yourself, jerk), we are hours away from the dreaded, diabolical, suicidal, genocidal, evil sequestration going into effect. To which I say, "Ehhhh." Instead of writing a boring post about what the sequestration means and how the sky is falling because of it, I decided to reallocate my Negative Nancy resources to identifying how and why the greatest country in the history of the world got so.....messed up. It'll be a multi-volume rant about how things got so bad, why they got so bad, and how they can get better. Just kidding, it's not getting better you big dummy. We are F'd. I'm going to explain why. Don't worry, I'll trash both loser parties along the way, so you can't claim I'm biased.

Now first things first, I know whenever someone complains about the country, the knee-jerk response is, "Yeah, well why don't you move to CANADA, you big fat creep?" Well, it's simple - 1) We can criticize stupid decisions without having to put our house on the market 2) I don't want to move to Canada, Nickelback sucks, and 3) America is still the best country in the world. So shut up and let me rock the mic.

All of the controversy surrounding the Obama administration's sequestration (you read that right - the idea originated in the Oval office, no matter what the lamestream media says) centers around a budget cut of around 2%. And by budget cut I mean 'cut in the GROWTH of expenditures by 2%'. Not take a flat baseline and reduce it. I mean take a baseline, inflate it for 2013 onward and then cut it by 2%. So we are merely reducing the size of GROWTH of our out of control spending problem by 2%. And look at all the commotion caused by it. Every day, each side talks about the amount of jobs lost. 800,000 defense jobs, thousands of teachers, firemen, police men, kids with cancer. Hell, Rep Maxine Waters (D) claimed that....get ready.....'170 million jobs will be lost due to the sequester.' Really? 170 million jobs will be lost due to a 1-2% reduction in the rate of spending? That's $6.8 trillion in savings using a $40k a year assumption, which is a 'pauper's salary' for a government employee. And yet this buffoon will probably still get re-elected. But I digress - you hear it everywhere - jobs will be lost, airports will fall apart, illegal Mexicans will be on the loose, we will be prone to a terrorist attack, our defense is weaker, etc. You know what I say? Who gives a shit. We need this. We need pain. How else are we going to fix our deficit problems? If we get this bent out of shape over a $65-$85 billion cut on $3.6 trillion of budget, what the hell are we going to do when entitlements get cut by a more significant amount? Which leads me to the point of the post - we are in over our heads. We are in way too deep. This problem can't be fixed by traditional means. Nobody wants to do anything. Democrats wants you sucking the phallus of government. Republicans are eunuchs who have been de-balled by Obama. They continue to fight within their ranks. You can't trust Washington to get it right.

So this rant is aimed at how we got here. It's fun to blame Bush for the 2008 crisis (misplaced rage as you will find out). It's fun to blame Obama for what's going on now (not necessarily his fault either as you will find out). We are headed to third world status, except you don't know it. Well let me blow the lit off for you. Our first culprit is the Federal Reserve. They've done more damage than Obama and Bush combined.

Culprit #1 - The Federal Reserve
Started in 1913, the Federal Reserve has been behind every single recession and boom that we've experienced over the past 100 years. They dictate monetary policy - which means the amount of money in circulation, the interest rates, the deflationary/infationary environment, and how our dollar is perceived as it relates to imports/exports, as well as a dotted line impact to our unemployment rate. Simple economics tell us that if you print more money, it's worth less. If you take money out of circulation, it's worth more. If you cut interest rates, domestic investment and capital purchases will increase and the housing markets will flourish. Vice versa if you do the opposite. Well guess what - from 1981 through 2008, we cut interest rates down to near zero. Remember hearing relatives bitch about 18% mortgage interest rates during the mid-1980's? Ok I don't either because I was in kindergarten but you get the point. Now it's about 4.25%. It inspired you to take out a loan. It encourages businesses to make capital investments. This ramped up during the '80's, but really took shape during the 1990's. As former Fed Chairman Allan Greenspan once said, 'it was the era of irrational exuberance.' Easy, cheap money meant more loans and more money for housing purchases, stock market purchases, commercial purchases, and any other entrepeneurial endeavor. Of course the stock market got an erection. Silicon Valley gave us the internet and the tech revolution (ie - 'bubble'). People made money hand over fist. Who cares if Clinton gooses up the capital gains tax? I'm making money I wasn't supposed to make, so who am I to complain? Easy money from the Fed meant the inevitable stock market bubble. It was great - until it popped.

2000 marked the crash of the tech bubble. We had a mild recession going into the 2000 election. 9/11 happened, which had an estimated impact of about $1 trillion to the US economy. We went to war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Things cooled off and we had a tepid recovery in 2003/2004, but a consistently low unemployment rate of between 4.5%-5.5% through 2007. Fast forward to 2008. Economic crisis. Market crash. The bank bailout. Threats of martial law if we don't pass legislation. Firing up the printing presses from 2008 through today. The Fed has injected $2 trillion onto its balance sheet in the last four years. Our dollar continues to crater in value, and our foreign investors want nothing to do with us. As I've mentioned before, our treasury auctions are more silent than a Carrot Top stand-up gig. The Fed buys up 80% of the newly issued treasuries. Ummmm that's not good. I've seen more interest in the neighborhood lemonade stand. What does this mean for the future?

In the next two years, we will most likely experience hyperinflation. The inflation statistics that you often hear are quoted at between 2-3%. Pure bullshit. They exclude food and energy prices. Why do I care if batteries only go up by 2% each year if my discretionary income goes to food, drink, and gas? What will happen when food prices go up 20% in a six month span? Google 'Weimar Republic' in Germany for a primer. What will the government leeches do when food costs go up and the government needs to start making painful cuts in it's food stamp program? What do we do when China divests from US treasuries completely? Japan is our third biggest investor and they are on QE22 and just devalued their currency again. Every major country is a zombie right now waiting to get a bullet in its head. All of this is due to cheap monetary policy.

We ride the roller coaster through good times but don't care what happens when shit hits the fan. Oh by the way - the second interest rates go UP and Ben Bernanke stops quantitative easing, our borrowing costs go up considerably. So whatever anemic growth we have when the musical chairs game ends, we can expect our GDP to decrease. Thanks a lot. Oh by the way Part II - the gold we were keeping at the New York Fed, Fort Knox, and other 'gold fortresses'? It's either gone or watered down and filled with tungsten. We're not really a reliable business partner anymore. We like to squander things. Germany has asked for its gold back, as are other European countries. Russia, Venezuela, and China continue to hoard up gold. They are preparing for the inevitable collapse of civilization, and want to be an early adopter of the new global gold-backed currency/special drawing rights when our toilet paper fiat currency shits the bed. Why do you think we went to war with Iraq and Libya? Saddam Hussein and Moammar Khaddafi had EPIC amounts of gold in their possession, in the billions of dollars. Replenishing emptied gold supply in the US and UK was of paramount importance. Thus the recent invasion of Mali a few weeks back. Don't buy the bullshit about 'war for oil', or else we wouldn't be spending as much on gas and oil in the states. Follow the money trail. Gold is as important today as it was in Biblical times. Just remember that.

How do we fix this problem with existing Federal Reserve policy? We can't. Ron Paul suggested ending the Fed. That garnered about as much interest as 'Dice K bobblehead night at Fenway.' He also suggested AUDITING the Fed, which finally got approved by Congress last year. Our Federal Reserve loans money to European countries to squander, and countless zombie banks that have no business existing. Early prelim audits show $16 trillion in loans overseas. Why would the globalists want the Fed audited? After all, it's owned by the Rothschilds, the Rockefellers, the Morgans, the Lehmans, the Warburgs, the Queen of England, and a few other Luciferian, Satan-worshipping, New World Order, Illuminati scumbag global elites. Do we want that information getting out? I think not.

So there's my rant on Public Enemy #1 - The Federal Reserve. I don't think Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is an evil or bad person, but the Federal Reserve will be most responsible for our dollar's demise. We will lose about 40-50% of our purchasing power in the next 2-3 years, and we have the Fed to thank.

Up next in the blame game - our worthless, gutless, dickless government. Stay tuned!!!!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

A Treatise on Free Samples/Taking Food That's Clearly Not Yours

I took extra time in-between posts to let the 'Prophecy of the Popes' entry sink in. Actually, just being lazy. Hope you're still intrigued though and learned something new. Looks like we'll have our new ('final') Pope by March 20th, just in time for Easter/WrestleMania (Jesus was the originator of the hurricanrana/tornado DDT).

Stay tuned for a future post in the aftermath as I've been reading some crazy ish lately. But I digress. Tonight I wanted to throw out some tips and tricks to ganking stuff around the office.

Since we are approaching 50 million people on food stamps and about 50% of America sucking on the wrinkled, old man tit of Uncle Sam, I figured it's time to start ramping up my corporate rummaging campaign. Ok I just tried to Google a picture of Uncle Sam getting his nipples licked and porn just showed up. On my work computer. Dammit. To those that know me, I love me some free samples and free food. I have a routine that I go through at food courts and a routine that I go through at work. We'll walk through proper protocol and identify ways of increasing success rates of scoring said food.

Low Hanging Fruit - Food Court/Yuppy Food Stores

The best places to score low-risk samples are any mall food courts and organic food stores. The mall food court usually features two mutton-quality Asian joints, a chicken shack, and if you're not in Massachusetts, some type of Memphis BBQ sandwich shop. When I hit up the mall with colleagues, I politely excuse myself and hit up (in order) - the Chik-Fil-A for two fried chicken nuggets, the Chinese bistro for a tangy chicken, BBQ place for some pulled pork sample, and finish up with some salty Japanese meat (insert joke here). I then go through a second time, and in the process, fill up to the point where I don't need to order a whole sandwich or three burritos from Taco Smell. Chik-Fil-A usually has a 93 year-old grandmother with dentures and a pickled face passing out samples, so they don't care if I come through again. Ditto with the Asian places. Americans all look the same to 'them', so no need to don the Groucho Marx glasses. If they give you weird looks, pretend you are still deciding and perhaps threaten to go to the other Asian establishment. The Chinese and Japanese love each other, believe me I know from having visited both places never.

Another hot spot for samples is Whole Foods/Wegmans/Trader Joes. Always act confused and lost when approaching the boothes. Study up on obscure ingredients as talking points and insert a Barnes & Noble Manager over-laugh into the conversation, they'll love it. While snarfing your barley quinoa with horsefeed flavoring, make sure to take three cups of free coffee (but keep smiling). Wander the store, pass gas in the cheese section and then ask some Rachel Maddow look-a-like when the next shipment of dried mango carrot slices comes, as you back up while talking to the sample stand while some blazed-up Parrothead puts out tofu chicken wings. Inhale three more mini cups of coffee and voila, you've saved $1.75 on coffee that you no longer need to buy. Rinse lather repeat for Whole Foods, minus the coffee. You are well on your way to the advanced level - stealing from corporate functions.

Continental Corporate Breakfast - Mercy Is For The Weak

The ballsiest among us raid corporate buffets for sustenance. I'm one of them. The joke at my company is that there is no food I won't touch, and I even brought Tupperware to our corporate BBQ to bring home Cheesesteaks and pork sandwiches. Think of it as 'resource maximization.' Once a spread is out there for a conference or meeting, you need to proceed with caution so that you don't get nabbed. I like to do a walk-through first to assess the layout and identify the 'nice to haves' vs the 'need to haves'. You don't need to make a damn deli sandwich. Consider how lucky you are and grab in small amounts. Pre-made wraps/sandwich halves are key. So are muffins, yogurts, and fun bars. Coffee gets a little dicey. I know the cream outside of the coffee shop is better, so I quickly pump out the coffee and split to higher ground. A fruit spread, while healthy, exposes you to passersby due to the tongs and plate setup. Know thy fruits, stay away from fruit cubes since they are harder to pick up. I've taken full-ass trays of shit before, it can be done. Once convinced some colleagues to 'follow me to freedom' as we absconded with 30 abandoned sodas, prompting a large sign on the door the next day saying 'do not remove food from this room.' I was also tailed by someone who suspected that I was the culprit. Scariest two minutes of my life.

You need to have backup plans when you take food. I've made friends with the catering staff, always have a stupid joke lined up and blend into corporate functions by wearing ties and exposing my badge on my hip when appropriate. The best is when you bump into a crowd just getting out of a meeting and right when you are about to be caught red-handed, you see someone you vaguely know and bullshit something about " what a great presentation that was - Lenny really nailed it. Our pipeline truly appears robust." Cue nervous laughter, dumb joke, more nervous laughter. Mention the weather and how crappy Philly sports teams are. Ask about their weekend as you stuff grapes into your pockets/any available orifice. If you are caught by the catering staff, pretend you were late for the meeting and that you are having second thoughts about attending and that you'll just sit outside until they are done. Say something like "Is this the corporate symposium on innovation?" and when they get confused, laugh and say "I must have my meetings messed up......muah hahahaha.....muahhh haha....muah..." followed up by a mucus-y cough.

I was actually caught a few weeks ago outside of the executive area with a cookie in my hand. But I was cool about it. "Why, I thought the meeting had adjourned and these were up for grabs! Early lunch!!! Uhh....uhhh....they call me the Cookie Monster." The poor slob giggled and shook his head. I was safe for another day. But I learned my lesson. Don't get cocky. Wait till the crowd has dissipated. Steal in increments. If you need to go back to your desk, make a couple runs. Today was Chinese New Year celebration, so free samples + white people all look the same = lots of food. You have to play the nervous laughter game a few times, but it's easy to pick up. Say something about fortune cookies and how "you'll eventually own the United States" to stroke their ego. All while stuffing egg rolls in your pockets/gullet. Keep the smile on your face as you head to the elevator, and then when the door closes, either laugh maniacally at the caper you just pulled, or slowly slide down the elevator wall breathing a sigh of relief that you got away with it.  

Congratulations - you've just taken food that was never earmarked for you! How does it feel? Good? Are you guilt-ridden? Are you happy with yourself? You should be. It goes into the trash or a janitor steals it in-between their three hour dinner/cocaine breaks. Stand up proud. Hold your chin up. You're a Corporate Raider.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Who is Petrus Romanus?

The world has been abuzz today following the announcement that Pope Benedict XVI is abdicating the papal throne at the end of the month. This is historic for two reasons - 1) it marks the first time in 600 years that a sitting pope has resigned the Papacy and 2) if an ancient 12th century prophecy is to be believed, his successor will be the final pope that ushers in the Great Tribulation promised in Revelation. Whaaaaaa? That shit cray! Well hear me out, because what follows is one of the more intriguing items I've stumbled upon in my 17 years of 'reading weird stuff about the end of the world.' Enjoy!

A little background - the now infamous 'Prophecy of the Popes' was composed in 1139 by an Irish bishop by the name of Malachy O'Morgair ('St. Malachy'), who, while in Rome in an audience with then-Pope Innocent II, experienced a vision of the next 112 popes, ascribing cryptic Latin phrases to each with descriptors such as his religious order's coat of arms, birthplace, surname, or events that take place during his reign. In layman's terms, he basically gave short descriptions in Latin about what characteristics would describe future popes. Critics say these were forged in the late 16th century or that even the great Nostradamus wrote these and had them hidden for fifty years. To this day the Catholic Church rejects them as being a forgery. For what its worth, the Catholic Church also treats accounts of boys being molested by priests as a 'forgery' as well. So consider the source. Cynics have said that these ultimately became a case of 'seek and ye shall find' - ie, if you read the Latin descriptor, you can 'back into' the pope in question and say "See - the prophecy works!!!! Look!!!!!" According to one of my links below, "apparently, in 1958, before the Conclave that would elect Pope John XXIII, Cardinal Spellman of New York hired a boat, filled it with sheep and sailed up and down the Tiber River, to show that he was "pastor et nautor", the motto attibuted to the next Pope in the prophecies!" With poor slobs pulling stunts like this, how can the prophecy be taken seriously?

Well, simply put, if this was a forgery for the first three hundred years, and some jerk-off took it over and made up some prophecies, then why the successful hit rate for the next four hundred years? I'm not saying all of these were crystal clear prophecies, but some of them were dead on balls accurate:


Gregory IX (1227-1241) - Avis Ostiensis(Bird of Ostia)
Hist.: before his election he was Cardinal of Ostia

Urban IV (1261-1264)
Hierusalem Campaniæ(Jerusalem of Champagne)
Hist.: native of Troyes, Champagne, later patriarch of Jerusalem

Nicholas IV (1288-1292)
Ex eremo celsus(elevated from a hermit)
Hist.: prior to his election he was a hermit in the monastery of Pouilles

Clement V (1305-1314)
De fessis Aquitanicis(ribbon of Aquitaine)
Hist.: was archbishop of Bordeaux in Aquitaine

John XXII (1316-1334)
De sutore osseo(of the cobbler of Osseo)
Hist.: Family name Ossa, son of a shoe-maker


Clement IX (1667-1669)
Sydus Olorum(constellation of swans)
Hist.: upon his election, he was apparently the occupant of the Chamber of Swans in the Vatican.

Gregory XVI (1831-1846)
De balneis hetruriæ(bath of Etruria)
Hist.: prior to his election he was member of an order founded by Saint Romuald, at Balneo, in Etruria, present day Toscany.

Benedict XV (1914-1922)
Religio depopulata(Religion laid waste)
Hist.: This Pope reigned during the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia which store the establishment of Communism.

John XXIII (1958-1963)
Pastor et Nauta(pastor and marine)
Hist.: prior to his election he was patriarch of Venice, a marine city, home of the gondolas

John Paul I (1978)
De medietate Lunæ(of the half of the moon)
Hist.: Albino Luciani, born in Canale d'Agardo, diocese of Belluno, (beautiful moon) Elected pope on August 26, his reign lasted about a month, from half a moon to the next half...

John Paul II (1978-2005)
De labore Solis(of the eclipse of the sun, or from the labour of the sun)
Hist.: Karol Wojtyla was born on May 18, 1920 during a solar eclipse. His Funeral occurred on 8 April, 2005 when there was a solar eclipse visible in the Americas.

Benedict XVI (2005-2013)
Gloria olivæThe Benedictine order traditionally said this Pope would come from their order, since a branch of the Benedictine order is called the Olivetans. St Benedict is said to have prophesied that before the end of the world, a member of his order would be Pope and would triumphantly lead the Church in its fight against evil.

So those are some of the big hits. Of course, other more in-depth analyses have been done on each and every prediction (I've attached links at the bottom for your perusal or if you're just horny). I forgot to add one thing - Pope Benedict was the 111th of the prophesied 112 Popes. Which means we will bear witness to the last pope according to this prophecy. His name is 'Petrus Romanus' ("Peter The Roman"). The Papacy began with St. Peter and will end with a Peter. Here is what the prophecy says about Petrus Romanus:

"In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge his people. The End."

According to Cris Putnam and Thomas Horn, authors of the 2012 book 'Petrus Romanus' (an exhaustive 500 page book that covers everything having to do with the 112th Pope - great read, BTW), this last pope will become the 'False Prophet' of Revelation, ie - the sidekick of the coming Antichrist. He will lead the Catholic Church to slaughter, unite us under the banner of a 'One World Religion', and basically water down the teachings of Jesus. They also compare the eerie coincidences between Washington DC's masonic symbols/imagery/architecture with the symbols/imagery/architecture of The Vatican. According to these authors, both Washington DC and The Vatican will become the Twin Towers of the New World Order one world government. Ok bad analogy, but you get the point.

Peter The Roman will brainwash Christians worldwide to unite under one religion to worship one universal god (on its face, not an altogether bad thing since it brings fake 'unity' with other word religions, but it is under false pretenses). Cynical atheists reading this - you probably just said to yourself, "Yeah well Christians are already brainwashed to believe in bearded men in the sky who came back from the dead." To that I say, 'fuck you, I'll turn the other cheek and pray for you, Bill Maher, and your half-robot hero Stephen Hawking this night." So in light of today's events, who will be chosen as the diabolical Petrus Romanus? Some front-runners have begun to emerge....

Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana - head of the Vatican's Department for Justice and Peace. He's black and he talks pretty. Reminds me of another hoodwinker.....
Cardinal Francis Arinze of Nigeria - also black and represents the growing Catholicism in Africa.
Cardinal Angelo Scola of Milan - rumored runner-up in 2005, member of economic council of the Vatican
Cardinal Tarcisio Pietro Evasio Bertone - camerlengo (Pope's man-servant), Vatican Secretary of State. Main target of Vatileaks scandal related to Pope's Butler 'spilling the beans' on inner workings of Papacy. He's like the 'Puck from Real World III' of the Vatican.

One of these men will most likely assume the role of Petrus Romanus, the last Pope. Peter Turkson seems the current favorite, but his remarks after the 2008 economic crisis gave many pause. He proposed the overhauling of the international financial system by creating a Global Public Authority and a Global Bank that worked in close coordination with all countries. Pope Benedict XVI also echoed these sentiments while stopping short of calling for a 'central bank'. We don't need religious leaders calling for more 'globalism' because it's not going to end well. The last book of the Bible talks ad nauseum about a one world leader, government, currency, religion and complete subservience to an unholy, demonic mindset.

We see it going on in the world now, as our economic system hangs by a thread. We combined the countries of Europe under one currency, which is about to implode. The USA is a country divided along racial, religious, gender, economic, and social status lines, and God gets pushed further and further into the background. The Police State is closing in on us, with drone strikes increasing, wars brewing, currencies crashing, and more and more people succumbing to poverty and dumpster diving. What if the global system crashes? Won't we want a leader to provide stability? Won't we do anything to keep our family safe, even if it means following someone with a questionable past and ulterior motives? What if that leader aligned themself with a spiritual leader with one billion people under his global empire? You can see where this is going. Petrus Romanus will play a huge role in a future global catastrophe, as people look for spiritual strength in times of sadness and despair. He will ultimately flee the 'city of seven hills' ('Rome') as the world crumbles around him. He will help the global dictator impart his will on the innocent and sell a bastardized version of religion to the dumbed-down sweathog texting iphone masses. So are you scared yet? Pay attention to the final Papal Conclave in late March. We'll have a new Pope by Easter. Just in time for all of the other shit to hit the fan. Have a good week hugs and kisses!!!!!!!

Related Links:

Monday, February 4, 2013

Weekly Fear-Mongoring: The Sky Is Falling vs. Everything Is Just Fine

This week's doom and gloom focuses on real world events playing out before our very eyes, and the wildly different interpretation between the Lamestream Media and Alternative Media. In case you didn't know, the majority of media is biased. ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, Washington Post, Boston Globe, NPR etc all tilt left. Fox News and a good portion of talk radio tilts right. I love when someone makes a smug remark about 'Faux News' and how they are so in the tank for the GOP. Look you buck-toothed troll, Fox wouldn't exist if the media did it's job right the first time and covered news down the middle. People on both sides have their blinders on, and their own respective party is never wrong. Alternative media says 'you both suck, you're both ruining our country, I hate your guts, burn in hell.' It's traditionally defined as a non-public owned, non-government supported media that cuts through the BS of the left/right paradigm and exposes government as the charlatans that they are. Alex Jones, Christopher Greene, Gerald Celente, Glenn Beck and countless others have found popularity by shunning the mainstream media in favor of a more raw view of the world.

Since I officially became a Libertarian on January 1st, 2013, I've pretty much shunned cable news. Fox at least pretends to be fair and balanced, having a good deal more liberals on their programs than any of the other networks having conservatives. I became so disgusted after the election, when talking head after talking head not only said Romney was going to win, but he was going to win big. Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Barone, Hugh Hewitt completely misread the electorate ("people who got used to handouts, hatred of those that produce, minorities in denial about how worse they actually were since 2008, and mush-brained pinheads who fell for the made up 'war on women'." Have you seen Obama's cabinet by the way? Let's just say restocking the tampon machine in the ladies room won't be necessary for his second term). Anyway, missing the boat by that much gets you put on time out. So no more Fox, no more cable news. All alternative media, all the time. So what follows is a bunch of hot headlines and how each venue interprets it. I leave you the reader (all four of you) to decide what is the truth.

Headline #1 - 'The Economy is Improving'
Lamestream media - "We are so much better than those stupid Bush years. The housing market has slowly turned around, the unemployment rate is 7.8% but it's down from over 10% so THERE! We need more than one term to turn things around, and it's working. GM is doing great, the Dow Jones just hit 14,000, and all of the $3 trillion of funny money pumped into the economy since 2008 has worked really well. Did I mention the Dow was at 14,000? These trillion dollar deficits are really instilling confidence on Main Street USA. GDP has been rip-roaring at an average 2% pace each of the past few years (below the 3% average required to keep the economy above water). How about that Dow hitting 14,000?"

Alternative media - "This sucks. Unemployment numbers are molested each month and we don't even count the losers leaving the job market because their resumes are too shitty. Reagan at least had solid GDP growth in his 'recovery' and the unemployment rate went down by 3.6% during his first term. QE1-infinity didn't work. All it did was allow the Fed to shoot capital into the stock markets, and loan to those jowly crooks at the big banks. So this market rally is based on a shaky foundation. It's pretend. Neither dickhead party wants to fix the debt problem, they kick the can down the road and eventually the GOP caves and raises the ceiling in exchange for imaginary tax cuts that never occur. China wants nothing to do with us (as discussed last week). Sovereign gold wealth is being repatriated from the NY Fed and sent back home. Almost 50 million on food stamps. Currency wars have now begun, with a race to the bottom between us, Japan, the Euro, and China. Our dollar has Stage 4 cancer. Don't tell me the f'ing economy is doing well, and stop talking about the stupid Dow hitting 14,000. Also, the system is gonna collapse very very very soon when the derivatives scandal breaks in a couple months."

Verdict - I side with alternative media. The system won't collapse on their timeline, but it will collapse. Just not tomorrow. The globalists can keep this game of make-believe playing as long as they want. The economy isn't getting better though. It should have by now if we didn't keep spending our way out of a hole full of fecal matter. We're replaying the 1930's all over again, and when we look back, this will be viewed as a full-fledged Depression.

Headline #2 - 'The Gun Debate'
Lamestream media - "I promise you, we will not take your guns. Ever. Trust me. You just have no business owning a xxx, xxxxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxxx, xxxxx [enter gun names here]. We just want you to register everything in a central database. And maybe if you are getting prescribed medicine, we ummmm......may have your doctor mandated to ask you if you own a gun but trust me it's not like they're gonna do anything with that information. Stop comparing the administration to the gestapo. We are soooo not like that. Oh, and we're gonna regulate bullets too. So technically, we will be embracing the Chris Rock policy of regulating bullets and not guns. Everything's gonna be just fine. Why are all you stupid veterans/preppers/2nd amendment psychos getting your pantyhose in a knot?"

Alternative media - "They're gonna take your guns. Don't let them take your guns. Don't tread on me. The answer to 1984 is 1776. Globalists want to enslave you before they take you over. Just look at what Russia, China, and Germany did last century, and how did that turn out? Police are currently training over the next 30-45 days on gun confiscation, and we will be in the early stages of martial law by springtime if people resist. Obama is the Biblical Antichrist (ok I added that part). These same government assholes who funneled guns over the Mexican border in Operation Fast and Furious (the same guns that are proposed to be banned), engage in insider trading, and are exempt from these gun laws want to enslaaaaave you."

Verdict - Somewhere in the middle. Each time Alex Jones goes on a rant about gun rights being stripped away, he forgets that the likelihood of Congress going along with it is nil. To be fair, Obama has signed more Executive Orders than any other President, so I'm slightly concerned as to what he'll do in the second term. Oh, and expect more 'shooting massacres' except this time they will be conveniently done guessed it - veterans, preppers, conspiracy nuts, 2nd amendment nuts, and anyone with post-traumatic stress disorder. Chris Kyle, the most distinguished sniper in military history was gunned down Saturday at a local shooting range by a deranged vet with PTSD. Adam Lanza's mother was a prepper. Keith Ratliff of the popular FPS Russia gun enthusiast vlog was shot gang-style (I said 'gang-style', not 'gangnam style') in early January. Renowned rifle manufacturer John Noveske was killed in a car crash in January as well.  Rumors abound that these three were members of a 'red list' that the NDAA (signed by Obama on new year's 2012 to effectively assassinate US citizens on US soil) keeps a database of. This on the heels of the mysterious death of Andrew Breitbart the day before he was going to release an incriminating video of Obama last March. All of it is fishy, not saying I believe it, but keep an eye out for random shootings implicating certain types of people ('angry constitutionalists'), as well as prominent gun rights folks getting killed. If anything happens to Ted Nugent, the fix is in.

Headline #3 - 'Syria Intervention' 
Lamestream media - "The Bashar Al-Assad regime's days are numbered. We are on the side of the rebels but we are sitting on the fence. We will not aide in this conflict. That would be like....Iraq and Afghanistan all over again. We don't engage in nation-building. Let those crazy arabs fight it out. Trust us, we aren't aiding at all. At all. Not even sending weapons there, nope. We'd only go commit troops if there were Weapons of Mass Destruction used. Which we know they have. But Iraq definitely didn't. We're sure of it.

Alternative media - "You dumb bastards gave guns to Al Qaeda in Libya and are now giving guns to Al Qaeda in Syria. Syrian 'rebels' are beheading government workers, throwing postal workers off buildings, and burning American flags. You thought Bush was bad? Our taxpayer money is going into the hands of known terrorists who hate our country so that they can overthrow Al-Assad and install the beacon of democratic hope, The Muslim Brotherhood (Egypt is now actively trying to overthrow THEM now. Even the XFL lasted longer than the Egyptian democracy experiment). Benghazi was such a scandal because Ambassador Stevens was getting cold feet sending these weapons to terrorists. This administration looooves sending guns that they don't want you to own to foreign terrorists and drug cartels. BTW, Benghazi wasn't an Embassy or even a Consulate. It was a rented out villa and the hideout was compromised. That's why he didn't have security. To secure would have raised questions - "Ummm....what the fuck are you doing in Benghazi? That's hundreds of miles from the Tripoli Embassy you are supposed to live at." But don't expect p*ssy Republicans to call them out on that. That would involve having testicles. And the last thing - a communication was intercepted last week from a British defense contractor stating that the US has approved the 'release' of a Qatari CW (chemical weapon) in Syria as a pretext for war. So yes, we will be involved in the staging of a false flag attack that purposely implicates Al-Assad even if he has nothing to do with it. Your government in action (we'll save that 'other' staged event for another day).

Verdict - Chemical weapons will be used and blamed on Al-Assad, leading to a full ground invasion by Israel and the US. That's a virtual guarantee. Probably used in Damascus. The part that gives me a bulge in my pants is that in the Bible, the prophet Isiaiah in 17:1-3 states ‘Look, Damascus will disappear! It will become a heap of ruins. The cities of Aroer will be deserted. Sheep will graze in the streets and lie down unafraid. There will be no one to chase them away. The fortified cities of Israel will also be destroyed, and the power of Damascus will end.' To those who know me well, I get off on Bible Prophecy. The cards are falling into place as Russia/Iran/Syria close in on Israel and America (not mentioned in the Bible, obvi) sits on its fat ass collecting welfare. If Damascus gets nuked or a chemical weapon goes off killing hundreds of thousands, I shudder to think what else will happen (actually I don't cause I read in the Bible what is to happen). I'll save the rest of the Bible Prophecy for future posts, but the prophecies of Revelation, Isiaiah, Daniel, Ezekiel are starting to come into full view. No I don't want people dying, but if I'm powerless to stop it, I might as well get some popcorn and keep my head in the game for our redemption draweth nigh.

Check out this clip from General Wesley Clark. In it he speaks of an experience where he bumped into a DOD official in 2002 and was informed of a large-scale plan to invade/overthrow 7 Middle Eastern countries in a five-year span. Last two on the list - Syria and Iran:

 Can't touch Iran until Syria falls. Shit's about to get real in the Middle East. Israel is testing its capabilities with targeted strikes on Syrian weapons facilities already. Lebanon is the home of Hizbullah, which was just given the majority of chemical weapons from Assad. Iran and Russia continue to kick weaponry to the Syrian government. 2013 is gonna be a wild year!

Those are just a smidgeon of headlines. Don't trust what mainstream media tells you. And remember, as Jesse Ventura once said, politics is like pro wrestling - in public they pretend to hate each other, but behind closed doors everybody is on the same side.