Monday, October 21, 2013

If Only We Had More Women In Government To Solve Our Problems And Get Stuff Done....Behold...."The Trojan Horse Blog Post"

"Hope you have all been enjoying your autumn so far, apple picking, watching football and just enjoying nature when you can!" - Every other boring blog. Not here. I don't care about what you do on the weekend, it's probably sleeping in like a warthog till an ungodly hour and then complaining that there is not enough time during the day to get errands done. We have bigger fish to fry here at Trousered Apes so lets get right into it.

There is a nice article floating around the internet about how women solved the contrived theater known as the 'debt ceiling' crisis, written by a guy with a hyphenated last name (never understood why a grown-up dude has to do that to his last name). Check out the link below, in all seriousness, it's a good read and is a unique perspective on how they stick together in a bipartisan fashion despite their differences:

I'm thrilled that this type of teamwork exists in Washington. Quite a breath of fresh air. I'd be totally fine with a 50/50 split of men and women in Congress. But it got me thinking - there have been a few articles bouncing around this week talking about how men got us into the debt situation, and women got us out. Knowing that Congress is heavily dominated by white men who smell like moth balls, Jovan Musk, and have calcium deposits on the sides of their mouths, a part of me was inclined to believe that hypothesis. The media fawning was aimed at one endgame - give the impression that women will govern better, solve our problems and fix our now $17 trillion debt crisis. To which I respond - "TOTAL BULLSHIT."

The 'Before and After' of the Senate Sisterhood's Saving of the Day
 ***DISCLAIMER To Knee-Jerk Feminists Who Get Offended Easily***

People are so tunnel-visioned that I need to take out real estate to actually frame an issue in context. So here goes - I think women are great leaders, more organized, structured, pragmatic, honest, and fair than men (is that stereotyping - quick, feminists get offended!!!!). The majority of my direct bosses in the workforce have been women, and I perform better as an employee when a woman is my boss. There, I said it. ***END DISCLAIMER***

In light of the above though, the implication that more women, more diversity, more african americans, more LGBT makes us automatically 'better' is hogwash. It's merely a physical or sexual attribute. Good ideas and solutions make us better. I don't vote for people based on physical or sexual attributes, and neither should a well-informed American voter. Do you represent your constituents? Do you want a two term limit to implement whatever agenda you have? Do you respect the taxpayer and don't say anything just to get elected? Then I don't give a shit what gender or skin color you are. Just do what we tell you to do and walk away when your time is up.

Read on knowing full-well that I have no dog in the fight. Old white men have been ruining our planet for thousands of years. I'm not defending them. Think of this as giving a Shawn Michaels super-kick to the 'women in high places can do no wrong' crowd. We act like the 10-15% Congressional approval rating only applies to the wrinkly old white man, and that the women all have out of this world likeability. The list below details prominent women political figures that "we need to just give a chance cause you'll see - things will be better." Sit back and enjoy.

Janet Yellen - brand new head of the Federal Reserve, effective January 2014
It's cool that we no longer have some old white guy running the most diabolical monetary system in the world. Now women can destroy currencies, too. Janet Yellen was named as Ben Bernanke's replacement. She was basically a career academic before hitting the Federal Reserve board circuit, before becoming the Vice Chair of the Fed in 2010. Yes, she is plenty qualified to run the Fed, just as those before her. But she isn't going to make things better merely because she is a woman. In fact, our collapse will happen on her watch. She's committed to continuing if not EXPANDING the ruinous QE Infinity program wrought by Ben Bernanke ($2 trillion to date with NO improvement other than an inflated stock market based on no fundamentals whatsoever). She didn't foresee the 2008 crisis when it unfolded, which is the same excuse her three predecessors also gave (mind you, these people RUN THE FEDERAL RESERVE and can't see the iceberg to save their lives). Take this gem of a quote:

“I did not see and did not appreciate what the risks were with securitization, the credit ratings agencies, the shadow banking system, the S.I.V.’s — I didn’t see any of that coming until it happened.” 

Great. She's now in charge. But she's a woman, so I'm sure things will magically just get better.

Hillary Clinton - former NY senator, former Secretary of State
She will replace Obama and become the first woman president in 2016. Pretty much a done deal. People will vote for her to help achieve such a historic accomplishment. But her track record the higher she goes in government sucks. The buffoonish 'containment' strategy against China. Doing nothing with Pakistan in the aftermath of the Bin Laden raid. Overthrowing war on terror ALLY Moammar Ghaddafi in Libya, and of course, the horribly, shamefully, disgustingly handled Benghazi abortion. The 'what difference does it make' sqawk-fest while being asked about the true events of that night. Supporting the overthrow of key Middle Eastern ally Hosni Mubarak in Egypt, replacing him with the Muslim Brotherhood puppet Mohammed Morsi, who lasted ONE FUCKING YEAR before he and his 'brothers' were OVERTHROWN, KICKED OUT, and BANNED from Egypt. The Libya rebel arming followed by Syria rebel arming has basically ensured Al Qaeida inherits the throne to the region. You can't make this stuff up. But she's a woman, so she'll make things better. Don't hold your breath.

PS - and way to be a fucking doormat while your piece of shit husband frequently banged/raped/punched other women. If the National Organization of Women (NOW) was capable not being blinded by political affiliation, they would be outraged at how submissive you appear when faced with sticking up for yourself in a marriage. But alas, strong woman, hear me roar, blah blah blah.

Janet Napolitano - former Arizona governor and Department of Homeland Security director
Ms. Napolitano has since left the DHS to run the University of California system (she'll be replaced by Jeh Johnson in the coming weeks). But she was a force when it came to implementing Obama's vision of a 'civilian security force' that he called for in his 2008 campaign. Yes, her three predecessors in DHS were also civil liberty grabbers, so I want to be fair, but going along with my higher message here, she didn't exactly 'solve our problems' or 'make things better'. DHS has notoriously purchased 2.2 BILLION 'hollow-point, banned by the Geneva Conventions' bullets that are aimed at killing people and shredding their guts. DHS also accumulated over 2800 Humvees and advanced artillery for DOMESTIC use. The drone program has expanded substantially in the past five years. Conservatives, libertarians, and veterans are now Public Enemy #1 to the average slow adult, low-info voting trendies. Job well done, Janet. Quite a departure from your forebears.

Nancy Pelosi - former Speaker of the House/Kathy Sebelius - head of Health and Human Services
Nancy Pelosi is a fun target of the GOP, but I guess she's effective at her job - after all, she infamously coerced everyone into passing Obamacare so that they can find out what's in it. She was the pitbull behind the operation, while Ms. Sebelius is the operations head in charge of this disaster. Both women were huge advocates of the Affordable Care Act, and both should be held accountable for its failures. As for the first week's numbers, well, check out this orgasmic chart:

Glitches have plagued the launch for the past three weeks. But 'unique visitors' are being trumpeted as 'enrollees' by the administration, and these two are at the forefront from a never-wrong women's perspective. This rollout has been so unpopular, Sebelius recently hijacked Heinz Field in Pittsburgh for an 'ACA Roadshow'. Less than 100 people showed up. At a major football stadium. Premiums and monthly payments skyrocketing, coverage plans being dropped by companies of all shapes and sizes, and doctors threatening to exit the profession. These two lovely ladies are gung-ho about Obamacare. But they're women, so they can fix our healthcare problems, right?

Sarah Palin - former governor of Alaska, former Republican VP Nominee
To show I'm not some partisan hack, I threw in Sarah Palin, because, quite frankly, she did it to herself. Remember the excitement when she was added to the boring, toothless, dickless, spineless, idealess McCain ticket that I was forced to hold my nose and vote for? Emotions were high - she was well-liked as governor, represented her constituents as advertised, and hated political and corporate bullies. She had that anti-establishment streak that made people gravitate to her, and ultimately became a rising star in the Tea Party movement. But she had a propensity for gaffes. Not what the GOP needed after the Bush years - as a gubernatorial or senate candidate - fine. But as a VP nominee? Ehhhh. She routinely flubbed softball questions from brilliant minds like Katie Couric and Brian Williams. She couldn't name basic magazines that she read in her office. Her recollection of American History was spotty at best. She used Alaskan colloquialisms that only three Alaskans had heard of. Supporters would cringe when she was asked tough questions. She handled herself well against Biden in the debate, but the McCain staff had their claws in her and treated her with kid gloves. "Don't wander too far off the reservation, ya hear me, girl?" Her ideas, if put on paper, are just what the country needs. As long as someone other than her expresses them. But this is what the GOP went for - a woman VP for the sake of having a woman VP. We need a little more, folks.

Honorable Mention:
Janet Reno - former Attorney General. Authorized the Waco inferno. Refused to investigate Clinton cronies. The Elian Gonzalez debacle.
Susan Rice - former ambassador, current head of NSA. The face of the Benghazi lies. It was about a youtube video. That says enough right there. She can never be trusted again.
Barbara Boxer - Senator from CA. Loves basic infanticide, but once that baby makes it into your home, the bastard needs to live.
Dianne Feinstein -Senator from CA. Does not believe Americans should own private firearms. But she can have a personal security guard that does. On record saying she would love to confiscate guns from the average citizen if the situation presented itself. Keep an eye on her next time a mass shooting happens.

Condoleeza Rice - former Secretary of State, former NSA director. Love me some Condi, but she does have Iraq/Afghanistan on her resume. Sooo many missteps. And the bungled communications failures around 9/11. That stuff will never go away.

So what was the point of this checklist? To show people that gender/race/religion/age alone aren't going to fix our problems. Pragmatic, realistic, authentic and slightly cynical ideas will. Two awesome female political figures come to mind as I write this - the late Margaret Thatcher (former British PM), and current Germany President Angela Merkel. Both were demonized early on in their terms but through a stalwart belief in the power of the individual, personal accountability, living within your means, limiting government largesse, and an unabashed love of country and preservation of its principles they have become some of the most successful leaders of the past 50 years. Merkel has shown her key strength as it relates to the ongoing Euro crisis, giving the impression that she is the only adult in the room at many of these meetings. But it's not because she's a woman, but rather because her ideology and mindset are in line with rational thinkers. As was Thatcher's. Those women couldn't be walked all over, because they would fight back with well-thought out responses in lieu of typical government talking points.

One more thing - they are also from opposite political spectrums, so clearly there are common denominators that can be extracted from their leadership styles. THAT is what we need in our leaders, whether male, female, black, white, handicapped, tall, or short. We get too caught up in the wedge issues. Enough. Find the right candidates for the job. Don't make physical attributes a selling point. I've just proven that women are just as capable of being as awful as men. Stop giving yourselves a pass cause you have a vagina.

Hopefully this provoked some interesting feelings. I still bet I get the knee-jerk hate mail from those who don't believe in things like 'reality' and 'female fallability'. But that's why I do this shit. To shake up the psyche a little bit. Until next time.....

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