Sunday, July 28, 2013

Celebrity Smackdown - Beyonce Knowles-Z

My hatred of Hollywood is palpable. It has the highest concentration of self-consumed, self-important, drug-addicted, phony, morally depraved assholes on planet earth. If an asteroid were to somehow wipe it out, I would rejoice like a Palestinian on 9/11. That being said, a good deal of these pinheads need to be brought back down to our level. Over the next few weeks I will zero in on obnoxious celebrities and stomp a verbal mudhole in their lousy guts while exposing them as the frauds that they are. Our first victim is Beyonce Knowles......-Z.

For those who don't have cable, Beyonce has been the dominant R&B singer of the past twelve years (basically since Aaliyah died, God rest her soul). She started with Destiny's Child and naturally went solo because of her beauty, her voice, her onstage presence, blah blah blah. That's fine. Not here to make personal attacks on looks or voice quality, cause obviously she is blessed in both categories. If she didn't have any other baggage, I wouldn't be writing this post and would have just skipped to Kanye West. However, if you dig a little deeper and examine her recent past, you'll find her to be just another pretentious diva with Eric Holder-esque DOJ tendencies and a dark, sinister 'alter-ego' that the press gives her a pass on. Here's a list of reasons why she landed on my shitlist:

1) The whole baby/hospital fiasco with Jay Z
We all remember when Beyonce and Jay Z dominated the news with the birth of their baby 'Blue Ivy' (latest dumbass celebrity baby name, joining the ranks of Apple, Moxie Crimefighter, and Kal-El. As long as it's not 'Jermichael' and Jay Z stays in the picture, we're fine, I guess). They infamously shut down a wing of a hospital because their kid was more important than other people's. While reports differ on whether or not they actually paid $1.3m to 'shut down the entire floor', at the very least security guards repeatedly blocked the father of two premature babies from entering the Neonatal area, and other patients on the floor considered lodging complaints about family members being prevented from visiting due to the security guards. Again, reports are going to vary, but this was all over the news at the time, and independent of how much money was shelled out to retain privacy, loading up on security guards for a maternity ward qualifies as douche-baggery in my book.

What is so special about Beyonce's vaginal birth? Is her vaginal lining coated in gold? Diamonds? Tennis ball material? Why the special treatment? So women recovering from a C-section for four days need to deal with this shit? Why the security guards? Maternity wards are as locked down as you can get. I wish our border were run by maternity ward nurses. No one would ever get through. I had to practically provide a semen/stool sample every time I came and went from the wards when my three kids were born. She's not the first nor the last celebrity to demand this kind of treatment. But it's effin obnoxious.

2) 'Bow Down', Bitches
Beyonce went from the hot lead singer of Destiny's Child to biggest performer of 2003 to Jay Z's power-broker wife. Now she thinks we need to bow down before her. Sorry you arrogant twat - I only bow down before Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Your scantilly clad muscled twerking ass? No thanks. Go fuck yourself. Don't give me the typical women's lib 'I'm just empowered, I'm a strroooooong woman' claptrap (while she shakes her chicken neck). You are elevating yourself to hero worship, just like your husband Jay Z and Kanye West. Your 'strong woman' persona means nothing to me. Your head is as big as it was during your fro'd out cameo in Austin Powers 3. Deflate that shit.

Still not sure if the song is just an uplifting tome? Check out the following lyrics:

I know when you were little girls
You dreamt of being in my world
Don't forget it, don't forget it
Respect that, bow down, b-tches

I'm so crowned, bow, bow down b-tches

I took some time to live my life
But don’t think I’m just his little wife

Don't tell my daughter she wanted to be you when she grows up, because she doesn't aspire to dance like a slut/savage. We don't worship 'your world' of material wealth and pampering. You are NOT crowned. You exist because your handlers allow you to exist (stay tuned for #3 - it'll blow your mind.) Now before you go off into 'I'm a sexist pig' mode, EVERY rapper talks themselves up, so this is par for the course. But in the greater context, compared with the other items, it helps earn her a Celebrity Smackdown for her smug arrogance.

3) She is an Illuminati Whore. I repeat, Beyonce is an Illuminati Whore.
I haven't gotten into the Illuminati much in my blog posts (ie - 'the secret society that runs the world from behind the scenes'). I will eventually. Everyone has their own definition of what they think 'The Illuminati' is, but long story short, they own Hollywood. They own the US presidency. They own the media. They own the Federal Reserve. They are Satan's servants here on earth, and they DO exist. In order to get as many people under their umbrella as possible, they recruit celebrities as 'useful idiots' to their cause. You may recognize the names Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Kanye West, Jay Z, Marilyn Manson, Nicki Minaj, and Beyonce. They are but a few of the Hollywood celebrities that are bought and paid for by the globalists. You think I'm joking but I'm not. Look this stuff up (hint - it won't be found on Fox News/CNN/MSNBC but seek and ye shall find). Watch this clip and come talk to me:

Here's another just to keep your attention:

The imagery, the symbolism, the jewelry, the pyramid sign that her and Jay Z flash (capstone of the NWO pyramid, otherwise known as the 'Eye of Horus'), the fact that her husband is the CEO (or whatever) of Roc-A-Fella, the record label he started, taken as a 'hood' version of Rockefeller, the kin of the oil mogul and leading Illuminati family in the world (along with the Rothschild family).

She's been photographed wearing the ring of Baphomet (goat head, adopted by the Church of Satan). Notorious satanist Aleister Crowley brought this icon into prominence during the early 20th century as another symbol for Satan.

So combine the above, with the Illuminati symbol below, the back of the dollar bill, the Roc-a-fella label's success (together they are billionaires), the unparalleled success as the '1st Couple' of Hollywood, the imagery from the Super Bowl performance and it all makes sense. Believe it if you want, dismiss me as crazy (you probably already have), I don't give a shit. This is Hollywood. People sell their souls to be successful, Listen to the interviews with Katy Perry and Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussy Cat Dolls about 'selling your soul'. Beyonce is just another name to the list.

4. The 'Sasha Fierce' gimmick.
Remember when Garth Brooks did that stupid album as Chris Gaines? Or when Stephen King wrote under the pseudonym Richard Bachman? Those were corny but innocuous. Beyonce claims she undergoes spiritual enslavement and an evil 'presence' fills her named 'Sasha Fierce'. She's said in interviews that its almost like she blacks out whenever she gets possessed. Doesn't remember what she's doing, has no control, and all of her inner animal instincts come out. Either she's truly possessed by some foreign 'entity' (again, she's Illuminati so not surprised), or this is some stupid stage trick to make her 'unaccountable' when she makes ugly horse-faces and dances like a jezebel on steroids at her concerts. Check out the infamous rotten, sneering face she makes under the moniker 'Sasha Fierce':

There's a lot more where that came from if you simply Google the images (for some reason I can't post all of the goofy pics, maybe NSA is cracking down on this)! I'll let you stew on the above and research on your own time. But that, my friends, is Sasha Fierce in action! And what about her request at the end of the halftime show for everyone to stick their arms out so she could take in their energy? Who the hell needs other people's energy? SAAAAATANNNN? Hmmmm????????

Then she has the audacity to get pissed off when these pictures get taken of her!!! Her thighs are more muscular than Jason Varitek's!! Her face is horsier than Seabiscuit's!!!! What kind of diabolical force is taking over her body?!?!? I will leave that to the reader to decide. But seriously, these 'no more mister nice guy' appeals are so pathetic. Family man/Hollywood Christian (not many of them) crooner Pat Boone tried to do this 20 years ago and it failed mightily. "Need to reinvent myself - I got it - I'll make bitter beer faces and flex my sinewy neck muscles!!!!" You're doing fine on your own, Beyonce, no need to create an alter-ego. Again, unless the Illuminati are telling you to. If you're a big enough whore like Ke$ha, they might even  bang you.

5. She's your basic self-important diva and her music actually sucks if you filter out her wonderful voice.
So this should really be 5A and 5B. The baby fiasco was a mere prologue to her diva tendencies. A recent tour-rider came forward with some of her wacky demands (disclaimer - most Hollywood celebrities have similar strange requests, but again, lump this in with the greater context):
  • All crew members have to wear 100% cotton.
  • Alkaline water must be chilled to 21 degrees and served with $900 titanium straws.
  • Bathrooms must have new toilet seats and red toilet paper at every venue. (Trousered Apes note - why the red toilet paper? Does the Princess menstruate and she's too ashamed? deal?)
  • Hand-carved ice balls should be made after each show to cool her throat.
  • Fathead lifesize cutout of pagan god Baphomet for her to throw up the Illuminati sign to (ok I made that last one up).
Anyone with those types of demands is worthy of ridicule. I'm sure she's a nice person in private, probably gives to charity and loves her fans. But the pedestal shit pisses me off. I like to kick pedestals with people on them so they fall back to the ground where they belong. Doesn't seem to have a humble bone on her body. Did you see her at the SNL taping with Justin Timberlake? Stiff, phony, takes herself too seriously. Contrast that with JT in a leotard making a jackass out of himself and we all love him for it because self-deprecation is awesome. Not in Beyonce's world.

And the music. Come on. Admit it - despite the beautiful voice, appearance and dance moves, her music is ugly. Horrible melodies. Catchy but ugly. That stupid strut she does. Get. Lost. I've been listening to R&B for 25 years so I know what I'm talking about. Aaliyah had it all. Janet had it all. Mariah had it all. Beyonce leaves much to be desired. I'll grant you 'Halo', but the rest is balderdash garbage aimed at empowering women  herself and encouraging heroine worship. Madonna and Lady Gaga are in the same vain (watch their Illuminati performances and tell me they aren't eerily similar/trashy).

So that's my steamrolling of Beyonce. Cut the shit about 'yeah bro, she makes more in one concert than you'll see in a lifetime.' That's not how you measure people. Treating fellow human beings like servants and peasants does not get you into the Pearly Gates faster. I'll pray for her as I'll pray for any other celebrity I trash in future blog posts - but these assholes need to have a crash landing reality check in Trousered Apesville. Until next time...... 

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